Sometimes, I am caught off guard by Aaron’s sensitivity.
Before dinner tonight, Aaron stood by the microwave drinking his milk. His milk slipped and spilled some. I yelled at him and smacked his hand once after the clean up. He was surprised by my anger and wanted to cry. But, counter to his normal whining and loud crying, he only quietly rubbed his eyes. My heart ached and wanted to hold him in my arms, but instead, I let him be and washed the towel with my back against him. After about 5 minutes, Aaron asked me very quietly “為甚麼我不小心的媽咪還要打打?” At that point, I suddenly felt his sorrow. I told him, as gentle and as clear as I can, the difference between truly 不小心 versus 不專心或不聽媽咪的話繼續做的不小心.
Aaron is an outgoing, open, warm, and happy child. His smile is just like his name, a ray of sunshine. He has his tantrums and fights, pretty much on a daily basis, all very outwardly and loud. Just after the gymnastics class tonight, he cried for a good 5 minutes walking out, loud enough for passerby to stop and ask. His reason for crying went from his jacket being too heavy to carry, to he dropped his toy, to he cannot see because I put his jacket over his head (after he dropped it on the way up the stairs), to tripping on the stairs, to wanting to put his jacket over his head (after I removed it after the trip), to not wanting to put his jacket on in leaving the building…. in reality, he was just tired for taking two classes in a row. When he has emotional outburst like this, I usually give him sometime to vent without trying to comfort him, hush him, or scowl him. Sometimes his emotion went beyond his regulation, then I would hold him and comfort him after his venting time. Most of the time, he would return to his normal self after venting, like tonight. He would tell me he’s done crying and give me a beautiful sunny smile. We would continue our conversation as usual, as if his 5 minutes of screaming murder never happened.
But at times like the milk incident, I suddenly am worried about his inner world. This child, counter to what he shows to the world, actually withholds his sadness if he feels being wrongly accused. As he grows into his teenage years, would be open to voice his troubles to me or would he be all bottled up?
2009/1/17
Day outing to 八里國小，紙風車臺北縣兒童表演藝術節
臉臉臭臭，沒有生氣，只是太陽太大~~
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